The flight from San Fran to Puerto Vallarta was rather uneventful. Luba and I upgraded to the class of kings and queens. We both took window seats; which resulted in putting to empty isle seats between us. Although at first, the ticket agent looked at us with that sideways confused gaze when we asked for seats apart from each other. She then quickly realized that we were serious when we said this flight is like a vacation before the vacation.
We got to our separate seats on the plane and cozied in for the 3.5 hour flight. The stewardess introduced herself and asked if there is something we would like to drink before the flight takes off. I asked for just a water. Luba asked for a champagne. This is why we sit apart.
Then I was introduced to an 8 year old Swedish girl travelling alone from Sweden in order to meet up with her vacationing family in Puerto Vallarta. I was introduced to her because the stewardess felt that between Luba and I, TheOneJake was the more stable choice of adult to accompany the small human on her trip through the air. Little did the stewardess know – TheOneJake perhaps maybe has the maturity level of an 8 year old. Definitely not the maturity level of a lone travelling 8 year old girl from Sweden.
I introduced myself to the little human and she politely told me her name was Stephanie and that she was very happy to meet me. I knew this seat pairing was going to go well and that if an emergency was ever to occur, Stephanie would be the one lead me to safety.
Stephanie promptly put on her bright pink beats headphones and proceeded to unpack the fruit she probably grew in her own little garden in Sweden. I took the act of headphone wearing as a subtle hint that Stephanie didn’t want to talk, so I did the same. Just as I started to jam out to my 80’s playlist, I felt a light tap on my forearm. I looked down to see what it was and it was the dainty little hand of Stephanie trying to get my attention. I removed my headphones and before I could ask her “wassup?” she prompted me with huge blinking blue eyes and said “Excuse me Mr. Jake, would you mind peeling my orange? It truly is a difficult one for a little person like me”. I of course obliged and was quick to learn that this orange was also difficult for a large person like me. I powered through the peel and got it to a stage where Stephanie could ingest it. I gave the orange back and said “You were right, that was a difficult orange.” To which she replied “I don’t think I’ll use these kinds of oranges again for travel”. I smiled and nodded and she put back on her headphones. I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of music Stephanie was listening too; baroque? Mozart? Soft Jazz?. Whatever it was, I know it wasn’t anything like my 80’s playlist with Jesse’s Girls and Africa by Toto.
I didn’t have to think to long about this since our stewardess stopped by and had the audacity to interrupt Mrs. Stephanie’s current oblivious uninterrupted flight. She asked Stephanie if she had an iPad. Stephanie seemed confused and asked “why would I need one?”. The stewardess then seemed taken a back and didn’t understand why Stephanie would ever think not to have one. The stewardess then said “well if you had an iPad then you would have something to pass the time”. Stephanie then said in her usual mature tone “I have my headphones and don’t need any further entertaining”. Well then of course the stewardess and I are now both curious as to what music Mrs. Stephanie has chosen for her flight playlist. The stewardess asked about Stephanie’s music collection. I waited for her response with drooling anticipation. Stephanie looked confused again. “What music Miss?”. This was getting good. Yeah stewardess, what music are you asking about it??. The stewardess made that scrunchie face a baby makes after eating it’s first lemon and then proceeded to blurt out “well the music in those pretty headphones little lady”.
What came next was priceless. Mrs. Stephanie explained that she is listening to a novel from Sweden in her pretty little headphones and that although she is small, she has yet to reach the stage of being a little lady. She then thanked the stewardess and politely said “I won’t need any help the rest of the flight little lady, thank you for everything”. Stephanie then looked at me and made the same face the stewardess did when impersonating a lemon sucking baby.
The stewardess looked at me and smiled, shrugged her shoulders and moved on.
The flight from then on was quiet. I helped Stephanie get her tray table out and back in so she could use it to write manifestos and scriptures.
I knew the rest of the flight would be uninterrupted and smooth – all because an 8 year old named Mrs. Stephanie had everything under control.
The flight landed and the little lady went on her way. I can already feel the heat of the ball of fire in the sky shining down in Puerto Vallarta.
Enjoy your vacation Stephanie – I know I will.